Relationship Ratios

With Valentine’s Day just a few days away, it makes sense to remind ourselves that our relationships are a primary way to build our resilience. Having your best bud around to talk about, reflect and problem solve our daily and life challenges keeps us in balance and out ahead of the storms.

A key measure that you can keep in mind for our partnerships is 5:1. Providing your partner 5 positive statements to every negative statement will help insure that your relationship stays on track.

According to research done by psychologists John and Julie Gottman, healthy relationships that maintain that ratio on a regular basis are stronger, last longer and are happier. Affirming statements could include:

  • Sharing small appreciations.
  • Expressing admiration.
  • Turning towards your partner and asking for what you need from the relationship.
  • Looking for solutions to problems rather than causes of problems.
  • Creating fun events that make memories.
  • Striving to find a way to make life dreams come true, like trips to special places.
  • Developing a healthy approach to conflict.

Small steps every day will make your Valentine heart grow strong all year long.

© Richard Citrin, All rights reserved, 2015


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