One of the first questions I ask when I am doing my Resilience Advantage Program is how people define “resilence”. I usually get a slew of words, one of which is almost always “bounce back”. It makes sense. When faced with adversity, we want to get back to where we were. But what if we change the conversation and instead think about how we grow from that event so that we are moving forward after adversity so that we are bouncing forward.
Just last week one of my cousins passed away. Bob is the first of my generation to pass and he fought a courageous battle against cancer before succumbing to that disease. We weren’t the closest of cousins but the last several summers, we’d got together for a weekend of fun at his sister’s house along with other family. I enjoyed those visits and now am extremely grateful we had that time together. The funeral was filled with the usual tears, laughter, and joy as we celebrated Bob’s life and all the people he’s touched. As the family and friends gathered afterwards for more storytelling. Making the rounds with my family, it soon became apparent that we all wanted to do more family get togethers and we started sharing ideas about how we can make sure we stay connected despite our distances. One of my younger cousins told me that she and my niece want to reinstitute “The Cousin’s Club” a tradition that my mother and her sisters used to make sure all the cousins got together 3 or 4 times a year. My brother’s and I planned a golf trip for this May and Sheila is planning on taking our new grand daughter and her mom to her annual women’s retreat.
Adversity and grief are something we face often and while getting back to normal is good, I think we actually wind up learning and changing from these events so that we actually bounce forward. Thanks Cousin Bob for reminding me. Rest in Peace.