Never Choke Again

Maybe you have a big presentation coming up and you are really nervous that you might bomb. Perhaps you are coming up to a deadline for a major project and you’re scared that you won’t finish it on time. What if you are in a tennis league and you’ve made it further in the annual tournament than you ever have before and are panicky about your upcoming match? All these fears have one logical, fearful component that has you rattled. You are worried that you are going to choke at the critical moment. It may have happened to you before and that body memory is instilled and causing you all kinds of angst. Bad news all around, perhaps but this Read More

Reframing Your Worries

My friend Lynn had an unexpected family emergency and given some difficulties with airline connections, she decided to drive the 9 hours to her destination. When I saw her the day before she left, she was not particularly excited about the drive but the next afternoon, I received the following text from her. “Hey Rich, how is this for resilience; I decided that I often work a 9-hour day with only short breaks and so my job today was just to drive 500 miles. Once my brain approached it like a work day, it became very doable. Gratitude for good weather, podcasts, music and cruise control. Here safe and sound.” Lynn’s used the resilience technique of “reframing,” which entails changing Read More

Who’s Your Lover?

Our modern-day version of Valentine’s Day is all about expressing love for those closest to us as well as maybe passing around a bit more of it in the world. As you finalize tomorrow’s rituals and routines make certain that you don’t forget that very special person in your life who needs your love and attention more than anyone—Yourself. It’s easy to share love with others but maybe not so much ourselves. Our negativity bias usually finds what is wrong with us first and drives our imperfections, sometimes in a frenzy, like a Formula 1 driver doing 200 mph down a straightaway. Let’s turn that around tomorrow and while your sharing affection and friendship with others, please include yourself. Here Read More

The Polar Vortex: Your Risk Assessment

I heard from a number of people last week about whether the canceled schools, closed coffee shops and businesses, delayed mail delivery and (OMG) neglected beer drop-offs at neighborhood bars was a sign that we’ve all become weak and overly coddled. I pushed back on this even though I discuss the fact in The Resilience Advantage that there is research about how children are more shielded from risk today than in previous times with the result being that they may not have enough routine opportunities to build their own resilience to challenges. I ran into a motorcycle cop friend at my gym this week and asked him if he rode during the Polar Vortex. He told me he had to, Read More