Focused Capabilities

Not surprisingly, much of the stress we create each day is self-imposed and it may not be just the negative thoughts that ramble through our minds. Much of the daily angst we experience may be related to the inefficiencies we put in our own way. In The Resilience Advantage we discuss the idea of “focused capabilities” and why it is important to develop skills in identifying and acting upon what is important for our success every day. Creating focused capabilities translates into efficiencies that allow us to not waste our valuable energy. A few of these include: Success over perfection. Much of the time we strive for perfection when good enough is good enough. The return on investment for that Read More

Going Negative

One of the themes we discuss in my soon to be released book, The Resilience Advantage may surprise you. It’s good to think bad. It can be a dangerous world out there and part of our biological tendency is to be vigilant against any and all dangers that ranged from walking on the Serengeti during primitive times to driving defensively on today’s interstates. We want to get away from the rubric of “stop thinking so negatively” when it is only prudent to do so. This past week, one of my clients told me about a contract rejection and how disappointed he and his team were to get that notification. They had ruminated all week on why their efforts had failed. Read More

Leave the Wall

In visiting with some family members this weekend they were telling me about the swimming classes their daughter took as a child. It seemed that she was a good young swimmer but lacked confidence in letting go of the wall to swim out into the pool. Her mom and swim instructor eventually recognized that she really did know how to swim but she was still afraid to let go of the wall. They gave her an important message — “You will have to let go of the wall.” She did, and this became a mantra for other things her life that she still uses as a successful college student. In a few weeks my new book, The Resilience Advantage will Read More

Don’t Let Pre-traumatic Stress Get Your Year Off to a Bad Start

A whopping 73% of employees surveyed by MetLife reported that they are expecting to be stressed out when they return to work this week. Adjusting from their time off, trying to get caught up with work missed during their holiday, and addressing financial problems caused by Christmas spending constitute the three biggest issues identified in the survey. Interestingly, people often get themselves into a frenzy expecting their world to be stressful before they even discover whether it is. Pretraumatic stress or anticipatory anxiety as this phenomenon is known, does not usually help us address the stress situation since it tends to get us off balance before we even can find our balance. In addition, it is counter to the ideas Read More