Even the most mundane kinds of decisions often lead us to this binary way of thinking. Just this morning, my golfing buddy called me to ask what I thought about getting out and playing today. Dreary, cold and wet is the only way to describe today with a late spring snowstorm in the offing for tonight and tomorrow. If we’re going to get in any golf for the rest of this week, today, as bad as it seems would be the only option. Could we get in 18? Would the ground be too wet? How many layers would I have to put on to deal with 45-degree temperatures? Go or no go…that’s all I could think.  Then Steve came up with a novel idea. Why don’t we go out and start playing and see how it goes. If it gets too cold, then we could come on in and have a big bowl of soup while watching playoff hockey? Great idea and off we went.

In my consulting work, I see one of my main tasks being to give my clients choices. I tell them that the color palette on your computer screen has over 1 million colors and while there may not be a million choices for you to consider when you are faced with a decision, you certainly have more than 2, probably more like 5-10. But at the very least you should think about how Goldilocks approaches her predicament when she entered the house of the Three Bears.

Goldilocks was hungry and discovered three bowls of porridge. She tried the first and it was too hot, then she tried the second and it was too cold, but when she tried the third one, it was just right and she ate it all down.  Goldilock’s research revealed that given a series of choices she could try out one extreme, then another extreme and one which led her to a near perfect decision (other than being a home invader!)

In problem solving and decision-making for yourself and your team consider the extremes of the options that you have to choose from. What’s the worse case that can happen with that choice; what’s the best thing that can happen? By examining the extremes of alternatives, we often can find the appropriate middle ground that gives us the best and most acceptable choice from the array we can choose from.

While you might question Goldilocks overall decision making, she was definitely onto something when examining all her alternatives before making her final call.  Evaluate your options thoroughly to make sure you give yourself the best chance for a nourishing an successful decision

He’d seen his fill of war after two tours in Iraq and now a tour in Afghanistan and I just listened as he described the unfair burden he’s carried on my behalf. But when he started talking about how his service impacted his family life—ruining his marriage and how he’s missed his kids growing up, he could not hold back the tears and started weeping. Of course he apologized but I just put my hand on his shoulder and thanked him for his sharing.

We talked for the rest of the flight about his views of the Army and the war and how fruitless it all seemed since he believed that as soon as we leave, planning for the next 9/11 will begin again. “The Afghani’s are a tough people”, he told me, “a lot tougher than we can imagine and no amount of nation building on our part will make a real dent in what happens after we leave.

I wondered about what he thought his resilience to all this will be? How will you recover? Do you think you and your wife can reconcile? How can you miss those years with your kids? “I didn’t know”, he told me. “Right now I just need to get back there, do my 3 months and try to reconnect with my life, whatever that is going to be”.

He had to run off the plane to make a connection to his flight to Baltimore that would take him to Germany and beyond. He thanked me for listening to him and he hoped it was okay that he cried. He told me he really needed to.

The first story I want to share with you is an example of this. So I am going to tell you a little story about Arthur Ashe. Arthur Ashe was the first African-American tennis player to win single tournaments at Wimbelton, the US Open, and the Australian Open. And you may be familiar with the name Arthur Ashe if you are not a tennis fan because the US Open is held every year at the Arthur Ashe Stadium in Flushing Meadows, NY. So Arthur Ashe is considered really one of the all-time greats in tennis but Ashe was not a particularly overpowering tennis player the way today’s tennis players are. Ashe was more subtle. Ashe was fluid. Ashe was understanding of his opponents and understood the game. He was an artist of the game more than he was a warrior of the game. He was always seen as a smart player. That was considered one of his greatest assets and when he was talked to about this quality he said that the important key to his victory was self-confidence and that the most important ingredient that he used for self-confidence was preparation. Ashe would study his opponents. He would be familiar with the surface that he was playing on. He was aware of the weather and the conditions that he was going to be playing on. He used all of those factors not to mention his own talent and the understanding of his own strengths and what he did well to prepare and be ready ahead of time and even to build hardiness as we like to say in the face of the game that he was anticipating. If he was going to be playing against a hard server he might stand back a little bit from the base line. If he was playing with somebody who had really good ground strokes he would be ready for attacking the net. Ashe understood the game and understood how to prepare for it properly so that when he went into a match when he went into a tournament with somebody he knew exactly what his plan was and how he would play that out. And that ability to prepare really set Arthur Ashe apart from other tennis players of his era.

While being prepared is important where the rubber really meets the road is in what I call navigation. So let’s stick with our sports analogy for a bit. Most of us who enjoy sports of one kind or another are inevitably going to be spending some Sunday afternoons watching our favorite professional football team whether it is the Pittsburgh Steelers here in Pittsburgh or the Cleveland Browns or the Baltimore Ravens or the Dallas Cowboys whoever your favorite team is and you know that as that game goes on for the first quarter, the second quarter, third quarter, fourth quarter you get more involved. You get more psyched. You get more excited. You know and think about what happens as you get more nervous as the game comes down to that last two minutes, those final two minutes and its looking like and you are hoping that your team may be in a position to score the winning touchdown. Well, think about how anxious and excited you get you know you are jumping up and down and your heart is racing, you are throwing your hands up, and you go “Oh my God no! No! Oh yes! Yes! Go team!” and you have got all of this excitement about what is happening in the game. Well if you are that excited I want you to stop for a moment and think what it must be like for the quarterback, the field goal kicker or the leading pass receiver? How do they deal with that enormous stress that is occurring during the game? Is it experience? Are their nerves hardwired to be just as calm as they can be? Or are they just freaking out as much as you are and they just don’t show it the way you do? As we get into the skills of navigation we talk about the resilience qualities and tips we are going to be focusing on this idea of navigation and how you deal with the stress in the moment. How you deal with it when it is actually occurring. Again, in the stress management model it is that idea of hold on for dear life. In the resilience model it is about breathing, moving forward, and throwing that winning touchdown and that is what we are going to be talking about as we talk about navigation and focusing on navigation.

Well, you know the third area we want to talk about is about recovery and bounce back. That is the third key mechanism for resilience. I want to tell you about Jim Loehr who is a sports psychologist, we are going to stick with our sports analogy here the whole way through, and writer. Loehr coined the term corporate athletes several years ago to depict the kinds of physically and mentally demanding challenges that face people every day in the workplace. You know, we were talking about football a minute ago and Loehr noted that in many ways the workplace was a much more stressful environment than the ball field because of one very big reason. After a big game the athletes could forget about that game. They took some time off, they rested, the game was over, there was nothing they could do about it and then start preparing actually for the new game. They have built in recovery times for between games for rest, study, and recuperation in ways that regular working stiffs like us don’t have. We may get the weekend off but for most of us we are checking email or we are working on a project or we are submitting a proposal. When we get back to work on Monday it is those same projects that continue and many times in the workplace we never really get a chance to finish up a project or complete something, it maybe incomplete but before we finish that one we are on to another one and there is no real break time. As a result, while athletes do not always perform perfectly, they usually have the feeling that they are starting fresh before each game a feeling that is mostly unfamiliar to most folks in the workplace. So for us we want to focus on this recovery and bounce back time. We want to make sure we have that built into our workplace and into our home life so that we can refresh and think about how we want approach new problems in a new way.

1. Meandering meetings where nothing seems to be getting done.
2. When you don’t say no when others ask you for help.
3. Open door policies that leave you reacting to interruptions.
4. Not delegating effectively.
5. Only dealing with putting out fires in your workplace and not getting into more important strategic planning.
6. Not feeling organized or having too much clutter to find what you need when you need it.
7. Not having enough time to recuperate between meetings or events.
8. Trying to multitask with too many things and not setting priorities appropriately.
9. Personal surfing. Everyone checks on personal emails or surfs the web for some items or just to check their Facebook page. Make sure you build your personal surf time in at the right time.
10. Not knowing how to set limits on your day so that when you are ready to finish you finish, get home, and enjoy your family.

Pick a couple of these areas out and try creating an automation, a ritual, or a routine to improve your management. I think you will find that your energy and your resilience becomes a lot stronger.

I read a blog post from Michael Hyatt last week that discussed that the first hour of the day is the most important hour. That can be a time when you awaken, do some meditating/praying and preparing for your day by establishing a routine that gets your day off to a great start.

While I would not dispute the importance of that first hour to help you set your day, I would prefer to ask the question of which hour is most important to us based on how our body rhythms work.

Most of us know that the sleep patterns runs in 90 minute increments called the circadian rhythm. we also have a daytime rhythm call the ultradian rhythm that runs in (guess what) 90 minute cycles. This biological fact means that your energy levels will rise and dip on a regular basis and that by respecting how that works, we can probably be more efficient and effective in what we get done.

I remember when I discovered this fact and it was when I was in graduate school working on my dissertation. I would go to the library early in the day to write and found that I could be focused on writing drafts for about 30 minutes and would then have to take a 15 minute break. I’d walk around a bit and then get back to it to write for another 30 minutes or so. After that, I’d need to go do something different since my creative juices were expended. I could put together 3 or these a day but that was about it and I had to be done by 3 PM or so. Got that dissertation done that way and have paid attention to energy and focus since then.

A few things you can do to discover and use your most important hour of the day include:

1. Experiment with trying out different tasks that you want to get done during the day and see what is most efficient for you
2. Ask yourself when you are most productive, excited and satisfied about getting things done
3. Consider the idea that your most important hour may have nothing to do with work but with something else that you value as being important (time with your kids, your workout, enjoying nature)
4. You are in control of your environment. If you decide that you want to get up at 4 AM to work on an article is right for you, go for it and if you decide that you want to take a nap at 4 PM, go for that also!
5. Don’t forget that there are 24 hours in the day. I know someone whose most important hour is when they get up and lay in bed for a bit. They find their most creative time is spent musing in bed.

We all only get 24 hours in a day. They are all important and you may find that some hours are more important than others. Find your rhythm and make them work for you.

As I watched the news reports of Whitney’s untimely death, I couldn’t help but think that it was all about the love and appreciation that she seemed to never feel that she earned or gained in her professional work.

I heard the Kevin Costner commented at her funeral that one of Whitney’s enduring life concerns was the sense that she was never good enough or pretty enough and likable enough.

Even though it is hard to believe that a talent as amazing as Whitney Houston would feel that way, perhaps it is even more surprising that many successful people often feel like they are just not good enough.

Known as the Imposter Syndrome it is a feeling that is tightly held by the individual that they are not really talented and that one day someone will discover that they are just a big phony.

Lots of explanations are used to describe why these great people often feel this way–they don’t attribute their success to their talent–They don’t celebrate successes but just focus on what they have to do next–they have tunnel vision and just focus on what did not work.

Conventional wisdom about overcoming the Imposter syndrome include:

• Getting the great feedback from others who believe in you
• Staying away from negative people who only find ways to criticize you
• Stop using the word “but” that tends to discount what you say and instead use the word “and” which is much more inclusive.
• Be honest in your assessment of yourself and make sure that for any negative about yourself you have 2 positives.

While we’ll never have the enormous talent of someone like Whitney, it is fair to say that some of us may have the same kind of self doubt that she had harbored for many years. Don’t let your uncertainty of your talents get in the way of how you feel about yourself and what you can achieve in your work and life

Almost everyone (at least the democrats) described Clinton as the consummate influencer. Put him in a room with just about anyone and he would win them over through his power or personality . I’ve been around a few national politicians and I know that they have an amazing ability to make someone feel a constituent feel like the constituent is the most important person in the world and I imagine Bill must have had this skill to the nth degree.

The show described the story about the Federal shutdown and how Clinton was sure that if he got then Speaker Newt Gingrich in a room with him, he could win him over and get Gingrich to back down from his request for a balanced budget. But no matter what Clinton did, Newt would not budge.

What broke the stalemate was when Clinton’s pollster and trusted friend, Dick Morris conducted a poll of Americans and determined that citizens wanted a balanced budget but not on the backs of Medicare and Social Security recipients. Armed with that information, Clinton and his team played out that scenario and convinced the republicans to yield on their budget requirements.

Being a great influencer requires a great many skills and may vary from “I feel your pain” (Clinton) to “I’ll kick your ass” (LBJ). Regardless of the tools of the trade nothing else is more important than having the right information to know how the tide is turning and the wind is blowing.

©  Richard Citrin, 2012

Three key questions help frame the question of your business model (the who, what and how):

1. Who we are?
2. What we do?
3. How we make money?

Who We Are?: Most companies address the who question with their mission and vision statement but many of these miss the mark because they are too focused on the product side of who they are and not on the outcome they strive to achieve. Take a look at the mission statement for Ralph Loren:

“Ralph Lauren’s mission is to redefine American style, provide quality products, create worlds and invite people to take part in our dreams.”

Walk into any department store around the world and you will see people striving to join Ralph Loren’s dream of style and to have the opportunity to pay a premium for it.

What we Do?: Build your product line with a focus towards what will serve the organization’s mission. Too often companies may engage in multiple activities hoping to hit a home run with one while covering their bases with another. Establishing a list of what we do and what we don’t do helps to clarify the specifics of our products.

Salesforce.com built a disruptive technology by offering a subscription based software product that ran a great customer relationship management product. While there were plenty of good CRM products, Salesforce’s differentiator was being able to make the software available on-line anywhere, anytime freeing sales people from the burden of going back to the office to track their contacts.

How We Make Money?: Many years ago before I sold my first company, I introduced the concept of Open Book Management to my staff based on the work of Jack Stack and his book, The Great Game of Business. Using this approach, I proceeded to provide my staff with complete financial reports on the status of the company (except compensation) and educated them on reading spreadsheets and P&L statements. The result was a greater sense of ownership and engagement that helped our staff understand how their actions on both the revenue and expense side contributed to our and their success.

Most companies delegate off the financial component of business success to the CFO and accounting department but I would suggest that it is way too important to be relegated there and that the question of how the company makes and spends money is everyone’s business.

As business changes at the speed of light, revisiting your business model and how you and your staff understand who you are, what you do and how you make money can only help strengthen your success.

Call us for some ideas on putting these models into play for your organization.

By now the entire world has heard about Jeremy Lin. An unheralded undrafted New York Knick basketball player whose resume highlighted his Harvard education more than his professional basketball prowess. While he helped his high school team win a California championship, he received no Division I scholarships and “settled” on Harvard as his number 2 choice.

After an outstanding career at Harvard, he wound up signing a contract with his hometown Golden State Warriors where was heralded for his Asian-American roots more so than his basketball play–something that seemed to bother him as he wanted to prove himself as a basketball player. But he was waived by the Warriors and then went onto Houston where he played 7 minutes in 2 exhibition games before getting the send off.

It was just this past December that the Knicks picked him up as a third string point guard and he spent his first month with the Knicks playing well for their farm team before being recalled since their players at that position were still rehabbing from injuries.

Given that Lin had not played much in his first month, the Knicks were planning to waive him on February 10 but after a devestating loss to the Boston Celtics on February 3, the Knick head coach, Mike D’Antoni decided to give him a chance.

191 points, 60 assists and seven victories later, Jeremy Lin is hot.  He’s on the cover of Sports Illustrated, the New York Post has run out of “Linisms” for their headlines and his #17 Knick jersey and t-shirts have increased on-line sales for the Knicks 3000%.

In the talent world, Jeremy Lin would be described as a “diamond in the rough”. Smart, hardworking, focused and committed on improving his craft and a man who works with a sense of perseverance and purpose.

His story, while still new and fresh portrays a great message for both employers and employees. For the boss, always keep your eyes open for that person in the background at the end of the bench who has a secret desire to contribute and who keeps working at it. For the rest of us, keep at it and when your turn comes go for it big time.

He describes himself as being very competitive and that he thinks his self denouncing language is a way to pump himself up and that pushes him to do better. I could agree with him if he had been able to tell me about the ways that his approach worked. But the more he talked, the more it became clear that he was not pushing forward but instead was pushing backwards and actually keeping himself down.

It was not as if he didn’t have his fair share of challenges with a growing business, a young family and a small workforce that he had to train and oversee while he was out growing and building business but I couldn’t help but ask him, “what his option b to pump yourself up”?

We talked about the words he uses to describe himself and I asked whether he would consider using less inflammatory language even if he wanted to describe his performance as less than acceptable to him. He was honest about not being sure that he could or that he wanted to but agreed that he could see how the way he was talking to himself about himself might not always have the motivating power that he would like.

He told me that he remembered a quote from Mahatma Ghandi that he always thought he should try to apply in his life but that he did not often put into play

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes”.

There were three keys that made this vacation so pleasurable for us. The first is that we got to see great family and friends. We made two stops, one in Austin for the wedding of the daughter of one of our oldest friends and then onto Sarasota to see my brother and sister-in-law. The second was that we kept a full schedule of activities and rest including some new fun things we hadn’t done before like renting a power boat and driving up and down the Intracoastal exploring dolphins, birds andrestaurants and third we enjoyed getting a little work done in the mornings before adventuring out.

Maybe I’m a workaholic but I see nothing wrong with spending time getting some work things done when “on vacation”. I was able to stay connected with email, make some important calls and work on some writing that was due the week I returned. I like being in touch with clients and the time between writing and relaxing gave me some new perspectives on what I would talk about in my monthly newsletter.

Of course, no vacation is complete without a trip to some kind of museum and a visit to the Edison/Ford estate in Fort Meyers helped me connect with these two giants of 20^th century leadership. More about them in the next blog

As I’ve been meeting with senior leaders, many of whom are in their 40’s, they are bringing a completely different perspective to their role. They don’t see themselves as “heroic leaders” capable of running and leading their organization on their own like a lion who is king of the jungle. Instead they want to create a working organization where responsibilities are shared more evenly and decision making can be made more easily and nimbly.

As a result, they recognize that their skill set must be different. As I’ve interviewed a number of them, I’v coalesced their ideas into five keys:

1. Philosophy: When I’ve asked successful leaders about their approach to leadership, they’ve been able to successfully share their ideas. Many of them talk about being genuine, following up on their word and modeling effective behaviors.
2. Communication: The workplace is more complex than ever and people are smarter than ever. They ask questions, take nothing for granted and infer solutions in the absence of certainty. Not maintaining a clear line of communication and keeping the flow of information open is an essential quality that these top CEO’s demonstrate. Many advocate the use of multiple channels including town halls,  emails, social media and face-to-face visits. Not only will staff appreciate the information but these CEO’s report getting more information than they give.
3. Understand your Talent: The prime job for any CEO is to make sure that he or she has the best people working for them doing the best job they can. Taking time to assess top performers and finding a way to help them grow means that the organization is creating a pipeline that ensures that your best performers will stay around and make key contributions
4. Show your Humanity: One CEO told me that the most important thing he ever did was to apologize to his staff when he screwed up on a big project that cost his company millions of dollars. His acknowledgement showed everyone that he was capable of recognizing and acknowledging his errors and that he could recover from that and move on. His honest sharing made a tremendous difference in his team’s commitment to him as a leader and the organization’s mission.
5. One Life: Several CEOs told me that they could not separate their work life from their home life and that their best efforts at maintaining that balance was to embrace the fact that they loved working in their jobs and fulfilling the mission inherent in their job. They took time for family and their personal life as a matter of course and did not “carve out” specific time. The result was that they lived “one life” which allowed them to move easily and comfortably between work and home. Surprisingly, this created a healthier balance for them and helped them maintain an even keel within their life.

All the CEOs I’ve spoken with tell me that they think that shifting ideas of leadership are bringing about new ways that CEO’s will be interacting with their organization and their employees. In a changing world, change the ways.

You may find yourself reliving your own personal 2011  as you reflect on the past year. I always like to ask myself the question of what I was doing a year ago and I was actually able to check on that by looking at my Google calendar from last year and seeing that I had some contacts I made with some friends and potential clients that worked out to be pretty good contracts.

I also noted that I had set some goals–both personal and professional for the year and did pretty well on some and not as good on others. But on balance a happy and satisfying year.

So how can you approach 2012 to make it a great year for yourself. Here are some ideas:

1. Don’t make resolutions. These are too tough to keep. Set goals for your professional life, personal life, relationship and family and fun. Think about 2-3 in each category and then plan some time in January to map our some strategies for each.
2. Talk to someone who knows you well and ask them how they think you could improve for yourself. Having others provide unbiased ideas can be helpful but give them the rule that they can’t be critical
3. Map our your plans for fun things to do first. Talk with your partner or family about holidays and vacations and get them on the schedule for yourself.
4. 2012 will be an election year and there will be a lot of negativity in the air with paid advertisements, debates and “the world is ending” hyperbole. Ignore it all and find your own best way to stay informed without getting caught up in all that noise.
5. Talk to people at your place of work about how you can help make it a more production, positive and profitable workplace. It may mean a conversations with just a few folks who you trust but you can begin to build out your connections from there.
6. Make better bad choices. You can’t think about the new year without considering food and exercise and I advocate for doing better incrementally. Instead of a whole plate of cheese fries, go with the regular fries and share the plate with someone else. Instead of buying donuts for the office, pick up bagels and cream cheese. Incremental improvements can yield great results
7. Go with what you do best. Building on your strengths is a great way to have fun and do better so delegate tasks that you don’t do as well to others which might include your tax preparation, software fixes and even cooking.
8. Make some new friends or reconnect with old friends. It can be tough to make time for friends but you may find that it is really good to have other people to bounce ideas off of and to have a place to vent frustrations.
9. Be nice to yourself. If you find negative messages rotating in your head (more than normal) find one of those friends and talk it out. Make sure your buds are on your side and trust them that they have some secret knowledge about just how great you are.
10. Write down some of your 2012 goals in your google, yahoo, icalendar or even on your December 31, 2012 wall calendar so that you can check them out at the end of the year. I bet you’ll be surprised at how well you do.

Oprah Winfrey has a nice approach to the New Year, “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right”.

Have a wonderful New Years Celebration

Last week, I began discussing Robert Cialdini’s six approaches to persuasion or what he calls weapons of influence by covering reciprocation and commitment and consistency. This week, we’ll be exploring Cialdini’s third and fourth tools–social proof and authority.

While people clearly go out and shop on Black Friday because there are great deals, there is also the desire to be a part of a community of people who are all doing something that is must be good and correct behavior. Somehow getting out there and battling the crowds makes us one of the legions of cool people who know how to spend that Friday after Turkey day.

Being persuaded to follow the crowd works in many situations but can also backfire, particularly in the workplace. Beware of situations where groupthink gets everyone on the same page and being afraid of being a non-conformist for not fitting into the expectations of the workplace. As a leader, you want to encourage thinking that is different from what everyone thinks. However recognize that the power of the group can easily direct behaviors that people will adopt.

Authority is the most common form of persuasion and for most of us we defer to people in authority. Even authority, over the long term must be earned as a persuasion approach as opposed to just being given. For example, titles, dress and even the kind of car that someone drives bestows a certain amount of authority on an individual, but if there is no real substance backing up their expertise, then their authority and influence will soon wean.

You can put this influencing strategy to work for yourself by backing up your statements with authoritative sources that support your positions.Demonstrate over time that your authority is based on who you are as a person and the commitment you are willing to make to be an expert as opposed to the position you hold in the organization.

Do you use your role and title to get things done, try to create a collaborative approach, use rational thought to build your case, build on precedent or just go with the flow?

In my coaching sessions I find that issues around influence are one of the most important topics that my corporate clients want to talk about. Most are competent in their relationship building, understand and can develop a strategic outlook and are typically great at executing. But their ability to impact their organization through influence rather than authority is frequently their weakest link.

Over the next couple of blogs, I’m going to discuss the six essential tools of influence as developed by the world’s leading researcher on influence, Robert Cialdini who is a professor at Arizona State University.

One of the first key things to get our arms around related to influence is to know that it is an emotional experience for people and not just a logical request by you. People react to your ideas and you must feel comfortable in respecting and using the emotional tools of influence to help win the day.  So lets take a look at Cialdini’s first 2 “weapons of influence” (there are six altogether)

1. Reciprocation–Ever notice how when someone does a favor for you, you feel a need to return the favor. Most people want to even the score and not be viewed as someone who does not repay debts. For example, you’ve probably received a fund raising request letter from some organization that included return address labels for your use. In providing labels to potential donors, the VFW observed that they almost doubled the number of people who contributed from 18% to 36%. Recipients often feel they should repay this favor by making a donation to the organization

At work you probably already use this strategy by just wanting to help out someone when they do something nice for you but you can get ahead of the curve and bank some favors through a number of strategies such as providing free information, offering to help with a project or even sending a birthday card or celebratory acknowledgement.

2. Commitment and Consistency–You are a person of your word and so are others. If you can get people to commit to an idea or goal either verbally or in writing they are more likely to to honor that agreement because people want to be consistent with their self image. In my work with corporations around promoting healthy workplaces, people who work with a health coach are asked to sign a health “pledge” that they will try out some of the healthy ideas like a walking club or joining a nutrition class. When signing the pledge or even making a statement of your belief as the illustration above shows people tend to agree with their aforementioned belief.

Most probably you already use some aspects of these first two tools of influence. Part of the key to becoming influential is to use them consciously and consistently. Take note of situations where you can try them out and how effectively they work. I’ll be discussing the next two “weapons of influence” in my next blog post

Thankful for a job, for their health, that they will be together with their family for the holiday (or that they won’t be with their family for the holiday!), thankful for their personal blessings that only they understand and appreciate.

As if we needed to know, a new set of studies shows that gratitude boosts your positive outlook. Gratitude builds happiness through both the addition of affirming statements to yourself and others and a simultaneous reduction in the time available for complaining.

So what are some quick and easy ways to build up your gratitude according to my informal survey of some kids and adults I spoke with last week:

1. Give more hugs
2. Limit your whining time to 15 seconds
3. Write down three appreciations at the end of your day in a notebook
4. Write down three appreciations you want to share with others at the start of your day.
5. Attend a concert or go to an art gallery to enjoy the art and change your routine
6. Go for a walk out in the woods
7. Pet your dog (or cat if she’ll let you)
8. Listen to an inspirational book on tape
9. Tell a friend how cool you think they are
10. Take a moment to enjoy the beautiful view of your family and friends tomorrow at your Thanksgiving dinner table

Thanks to all for your support of my work. I am filled with gratefulness!

George Will is one of my favorite columnists. His writing is nearly poetic and his mind transforms complex ideas into understandable simplicity. Even when I disagree with what he says, I have to admit that he says it so deftly that I put down my paper and am forced to reconsider my thinking! On top of all that, Will is a major league baseball fan and his books on the sport are addictive. In fact, he commented that he only writes his political columns to support his baseball habit.

Now I think George Will customizes his lectures to challenge his audience and given the predominant older population in Sarasota, he went right at the core issue of Medicare and Social Security suggesting that the Social Security age should be raised to 74 and that significant changes should be made to Medicare including increasing co-pays and patient responsibilities for the management of their own health.

That is where I got in trouble…

I am passionate about helping people become better consumers of health care. I’ve heard all the arguments…”Health care isn’t like other services”. “The doctor patient relationship is sacred and money shouldn’t get in the way”. “People can’t understand about the complexity of health care costs”. “We shouldn’t have to worry about health care costs when we are sick”. With all that, I am convinced that patients like you and me must become more involved in questioning and understanding how much medical procedures cost. Its really a simple question…”Doc, how much do these different procedures cost?”

So Mr. Will looks up at the vast audience in that beautiful hall and asked “Has anyone ever asked their physician how much a medical procedure cost? My hand shot up as I had just spoken to my knee doctor about the costs for three different options to treat my chronic knee pain. Mr. Will looked across the auditorium and seeing my hand as being the only one raised shouted up at me “Liar” and proceeded to discuss the very topic of why it is important for patients to get involved with this aspect of healthcare. I completely agreed with him and regretted that he didn’t invite me up to the stage to discuss the matter further, but I guess he didn’t think he needed my help. Later that evening my brother and sister-in-law, who were sitting downstairs on the main floor said that after Mr. Will called someone a liar up in the cheap seats, they looked at each other and said “that was Rich”.

I wrote a couple of notes to Mr. Will after the lecture challenging him on his accusation and even considered suing him for slander but decided that it was probably good that I had him in my corner on this issue. I’m not so sure about the rest of them. Maybe next time he’ll call me a socialist